I have updated this based on some beautiful feedback from my friends Clay and Jamie. Clay's advice was to add, “What you'll be / do / provide for such a woman + relationship.” Jamie noticed a couple things missing that are definitely core me, such as her being kind to animals. She also called me out on some of my language. (Thank you to you both!)
These are my Partner in Crime traits – expressing the woman and relationship that I want in my life. I'm continuing to refine as I grow.
Getting clear on what I'm looking for makes it easier to focus when I see the right person and to avoid going down long paths with the wrong ones. In the end, it's personal clarity – knowing what you want and what won't accept. Knowing what is right for you.
This is personal — the type of personal that is normally not shared in public. We don't share because we're afraid that we may be judged, afraid of what others may think, afraid of putting a stake in the ground and million more reasons. Fuck that – why not be open with what we want? Why not put our intentions out there and allow the universe to provide an answer? The more clear you are, the better people are able to help you in the way that you want. That's simple social dynamics.
I don't believe in perfection – just people who are right for each other at the right time.
This quote strikes close to home:
“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because [s]he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
―Lisa Kleypas
v1.07 – 20161206
For the first time that I can remember, I feel worthy of my significant other. I am ready for our journey together.
- My partner-in-crime.
- We allow each other to live fully in our Core Values.
- We accept each other as we are with compassion.
- We empower each other to continually grow into our higher selves while allowing each other to be fully ourselves.
- We are a team – she is the Warrioress to my Warrior.
- We are equal and we respect and embrace our differences, including our masculine/feminine dynamic.
- We create an incredible sex life.
- We care for ourselves and each other first, our relationship second and (when they come) our children third.
- We both work to strengthen our relationship.
- We remind and help each other to have fun and play.
- We explore by traveling and living together. Along the way, we show each other new things.
- We spend quality time together and are able to give each other private space.
- We communicate well and are able to be open and vulnerable with each other.
- We each have a meaningful purpose in life.
- We are able to play in the full range of life.
- We use our resources to improve this world and experience the most out of life.
- We will make the decision on kids together, after we've had time to build and enjoy our relationship.
What are her values?
- Trust/Integrity.
- Caring/Kindness.
- Loyalty.
- Exploring/Growing.
- Optimism.
- Family.
- Tolerance.
- Altruism.
- Playfulness.
What describes her?
- A badass in her own right.
- Intelligent and great to talk and laugh with.
- Smart. Like really smart.
- Optimistic with a sense of reality.
- Strong and comfortable in her femininity.
- Physically and emotionally affectionate.
- Healthy, athletic and physically fit.
- Sensual and sexual.
- Kind to animals.
- Has healthy relationships with her family.
- Wants to build a family and doesn't yet have kids.
- Not materialistic or wasteful with money.
- More spiritual than religious.
- Enjoys range in life: from geeky fun & video games, to the outdoors, to classy outings.
- P.S. I'm a sucker for high cheekbones, deep eyes and a beautiful butt.
What will I not accept?
- Dishonesty.
- Drama, emotional games or manipulation.
- Codependency.
- Cruelty.
- Arrogance.
- Promiscuity.
- Abusing alcohol or drugs.
- Smoking.
- One hell of a fun life ?
- My full self – all of the experience and wisdom that I've gathered in this lifetime and beyond.
- Knowledge of myself, including my Core Values.
- The space for her to find and express her full voice.
- Care, kindness and compassion.
- My masculine strength and the space for her to explore her feminine power.
- An adventurous and playful spirit.
- The desire to truly see and understand all of her, light and dark, so that we may truly know each other.
- The full range of life – from epic adventures with purpose to quiet days spent together in bed.
- Loyalty and commitment.
- Talents that I won't share here 😉
(Screenshot from Casey Neistat’s Vlog)
You can always find the latest version here: My PiC
I encourage you to make your own version – and you're welcome to use mine as a starting point.
I will continue to refine based on what I learn along the way. You can always find the latest version here: My PiC
You can find older versions and see how they've evolved here: Older versions of my PiC
Lastly – I think a lot about systems and aim to document them in a way that is useful to you. Here's where you can find what I've shared: My Systems