Partner in Crime – v1.04

0 Posted by - November 27, 2015 - Blog Posts

This is the first public release of my Partner in Crime traits – defining the woman and relationship that I want in my life.

Getting clear on what I'm looking for makes it easier to focus when I see the right person and to avoid going down long paths with the wrong ones. In the end, it's personal clarity – knowing what you want and what won't accept. Knowing what is right for you.

This is personal — the type of personal that is normally not shared in public. We don't share because we're afraid that we may be judged, afraid of what others may think, afraid of putting a stake in the ground and million more reasons. Fuck that – why not be open with what we want? Why not put our intentions out there and allow the universe to provide an answer? You may say this is woo-woo, but the simple fact is: the more clear you are, the better people are able to help you in the way that you want. That's just simple social dynamics.

Do I expect this exact person to show up? Maybe. Or – I could be thrown completely on my ass and have someone else walk into my life. Either way – I know they'll have quite a few of these traits.

I don't believe in perfection – just people who are right for each other at the right time.

This quote strikes close to home:

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because [s]he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
―Lisa Kleypas

I encourage you to make your own version – and you're welcome to use mine as a starting point.

I will continue to refine based on what I learn along the way. You can always find the latest version here: My PiC

You can find older versions and see how they've evolved here: Older versions of my PiC

Lastly – I think a lot about systems and aim to document them in a way that is useful to you. Here's where you can find what I've shared: My Systems

v1.04 – 20151127
  • To have clarity on who I want and what I am looking for.
What am I looking for right now?
  • Uplifting, casual relationships with strong, smart and attractive women.
What do I hope to eventually find?
  • My partner-in-crime
    • For me, that’s defined by the combination of the next 4 questions
What do I want from a relationship?
  • Core
    • Trust.
    • To be present with each other.
    • Kind, constant and honest communication.
  • Love
    • To love each other.
    • Emotional and verbal affection.
    • Physical affection and physical attraction.
  • We are a Team
    • We have each others’ back.
    • In it together, but independent.
    • We respect our different roles and abilities.
    • A partner who wants me as much as I want her.
    • A partner who deserves me as much as I deserve her.
    • A partner who is my equal (or better) and encourages/challenges me to be my best.
    • The willingness to work through difficulties and disagreements.
    • Spend quality time together, but also have private time and projects.
    • We are each responsible for our own happiness and health.
    • She’s not my “project” and I’m not hers.
    • We travel and live together (eventually).
    • Here’s how I see this relationship.
What will I not accept from a relationship?
  • Dishonesty.
  • Games or manipulation.
  • Over clingy-ness / neediness.
  • Being second-choice to someone else.
  • Not being accepted for who I am.
  • Promiscuity.
What traits does my partner-in-crime have?
  • Core
    • Honest.
    • Loyal.
    • Integrity.
    • Confident.
    • Strong.
    • Kind and wants to help others.
    • Optimistic – with a realistic grounding.
    • Strong, but able to be vulnerable with me and allows me to support her.
    • Emotionally available – not closed off.
    • A good judge of character.
    • Likes animals.
    • Creative.
  • Communication
    • Funny – in a way that matches my twisted sense of humor.
    • Intelligent and able to have deep and engaging conversations.
  • Focus
    • Deeply passionate about something.
    • Continues to work on and improve herself.
    • Independent, yet fully committed to the relationship.
  • Attitude
    • Openminded and tolerant of other viewpoints.
    • Has range:
      • Comfortable being silly with me and can also dress up.
      • Can go out with me, but can also enjoys curling up on the couch.
    • Works hard, but also able to help me slow down and enjoy life at the right points.
    • Able to step outside her comfort zones.
    • More tom boy than girly-girl.
    • Able to admit mistakes.
    • More spiritual than religious.
    • Sensual and sexual.
  • Relationships
    • Puts time and attention into our relationship to make it work.
    • Has good relationships with her family, especially her father.
    • Has a family I want to spend time with.
    • Wants to start a family – eventually, but not now.
  • Me
    • Accepts and loves me for who I am.
    • She impresses me.
    • Supports my endeavors.
    • Cares enough to understand me.
    • Emotionally supportive.
  • Physical
    • Physically attractive – especially her face.
    • More athletic than voluptuous.
    • Strives for good health.
    • Enjoys the outdoors.
    • Likes animals.
    • Younger.
  • Stuff
    • Isn’t money obsessed. Having it is great, but it’s not her goal.
    • Not overly materialistic.
    • Enjoys travel.
What traits will I not accept from my partner-in-crime?
  • Lying.
  • Cruelty.
  • Arrogance.
  • Inconsiderate.
  • Overly pessimistic.
  • Plays emotional games.
  • Not having goals in life.
  • Excessive jealousy.
  • Abuses alcohol or drugs.
  • Smoking.

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